I had an appointment with my new therapist today, and I chickened out. Well, it was a little more than that. I’d been dreading this appointment all week. Not because I envision the therapist to be a girl-gobbling monster, but because I’m still not okay… going places. Especially by myself. A trip to the supermarket wipes me out socially. Just talking to the nice old woman at the consignment shop left me shaking with anxiety. I’m getting there. When I first took roost at my father’s, I wouldn’t leave the house. Now I can take a brisk walk to the convenience store and be confident and normal.
I don’t have a car, though, and an hour and a half bus ride with strangers, to go meet more strangers was too much. So instead I made popcorn and watched a movie. I don’t see this as a step back, because I am feeling pretty good lately. My biggest issue is how I screwed up the therapist’s schedule by playing hooky. I feel ultra guilty for that. Le sigh.